Help! My Teenager’s Room is a Mess!

Clothes haphazardly scattered around the room. One sneaker under a sweaty shirt. Another hidden beneath the unmade bed. An almost-empty bag full of chip crumbs perched at the edge of the bedside table, precariously close to spilling. Last night’s wet towel on the bed. And random knickknacks strewn around the room: batteries, charger cables, dirty laundry, sport’s drink bottles, papers, textbooks, hangers, sports equipment – you name it.

If this accurately describes your teen’s room, you’re not alone. Messy teen bedrooms have become the source of frustration to myriad parents. If you’re like most, it’s the eyesore makes you uncomfortable. Walking past the room when the door is open makes you cringe. Whether it’s because cleanliness comes naturally to you, or you’re obsessive about order in the rest of your house, or you feel that your teen’s room reflects badly upon your parenting, the untidy room annoys you.

Of course, you’ve tried nagging, pleading, and encouraging your teen to clean up. None of it works. If anything, it causes more conflict between you and your teen.

So what do you do?

Some experts suggest that you should ignore the mess. This is because parents need to pick their battles, and in the grand scheme of things, a messy bedroom is really not a big deal. It’s your teen, not you, that’s living with the consequences of the mess. When it gets too much for them, they’ll clean it up.

However, teen messiness might, in certain occasions, be worth worrying about.

If your teen was always neat, and all of a sudden they don’t care about tidiness anymore, it might indicate a developing mental health issue. Or, if the messy room is combined with other suspicious changes like a decline in hygiene, falling grades, or substance use, then it’s time to consider seeking professional help.

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• My House My Home